There are so many contributing factors in our complex society and busy lifestyle that make sustaining an intimate relationship a challenge. We want considerably more out of our relationships than did prior generations. The arranged marriage was primarily a financial and social contract between families for the better part of human history. By the Middle Ages, marriage began to include love and romance. The current relationship model might incorporate an extensive list of expectations: fun, adventure, great conversation, compassionate listening, common interests and love, romance, security, respect, toned bodies, best friend… AND great sex!
Yet, from my observation, what couples seem to yearn for most is a deeper spiritual-emotional connection … a “soul mate.” The sex is secondary, often with the understanding that physical intimacy can be enhanced as a natural outcome of a loving union without boundaries
Psychotherapy and marriage counseling are two wonderful ways to help work through problems (and I may refer a couple if they don’t already have help, because I am not a therapist or psychologist myself). But many any an hour is spent maneuvering for favor with the couple’s therapist instead of addressing the fundamental issues. Our minds are extremely clever and when the couple is focused on winning, it is a clear sign they are approaching each other from the ego’s perspective. So regardless how much time or money is spent consulting professionals or family and friends … the game is still being played with “ego mind”.
From my intuitive sessions, I’ve been surprised by how often people’s minds and hearts are enticed away from each other while still within a committed relationship. The thrill of an extramarital affair and the temptation of “forbidden fruit” are more likely to coax either partner into contemplating betrayal if the door of opportunity is opened “energetically”. This happens when one mistakenly focuses on such destructive thoughts as, “my partner is a moron”, and “dang, I married the wrong person, HELP!” But when passion and a focused imagination are combined, it can be a powerful combination, because this power tool and can bring about change quickly. It is how the power-tool is used, so I encourage the couple to keep their passionate imaginations within the psychic-emotional boundaries of their partnership … as much as possible.
When the couple reestablishes harmony with their hearts, the rest seems to fall into place. I guide the couple to move awareness from the everyday world to a higher perspective, by teaching them to entrain, breathe, and vision together … to fall back in love.
In my intuitive practice, I also incorporate the indigenous wisdom I gleaned from my Lakota Medicine Woman teacher. A key visualization in this wisdom tradition is to journey through an altered state of conscience into your authentic spark-of-God self. Most often referred to as “soul retrieval,” the point of the processes-journey is to collect the fragmented parts of the person’s psyche that were taken or inadvertently left in trauma, argument and abandonment. I use a guided meditation with a rhythmic beat focusing on retrieving fragmented parts of the relationship. I record this “one love” meditation so the couple can listen to it for thirtyish days as they are going to sleep. My approach is a fusion of ancient and indigenous traditions (that we have been practicing for millennia … it’s in our collective DNA) in conjunction with my intuitive drawings.
When people chose to think differentially I can “see” this in my mind's eye in a reading. When people’s perceptions change, so goes their attitude, then ideas shift, and thought patterns alter people's energy fields. The most amazing aspect to me is I can see the energetic change in real time. It’s a “game changer” when the couple focuses simply on the positive in each other. It seems by honoring your beloved from a higher perspective can be a relatively painless first step toward a more peaceful and harmonious union. I am optimistic that Eros, the God of love, has merely suffered a near-death experience. Thankfully, now necessitated he will open the door for a new renaissance in committed relationship.